What does it feel like to be told that you’re doing very well even when your health is deteriorating?
What does it feel like to smile even when your whole body is decorated with ugly pipes when you’re in the ICU?
What does it feel like to hold your dearest’s hand even when you feel pain moving?
What does it feel like when you tell someone that the food cooked is delicious even when you find it hard to swallow?
Well, my grand father, NS Subbanna, was such a man, who found positivity in everything. Never complained of anything, treasured knowledge and his family. Sought to find solutions to problems and brought smile on our faces.
Honorable is an under word, he was given a token of appreciation from his colleagues for being a very considerate manager. He traveled far to bring food for family, motivated his colleagues to work for development and not money, and fulfill his father’s wishes of meeting his father’s friends when his father was old.
As kids, my twin and I would want to sleep beside my grandma and my grandfather understood this; he would go to a different room to sleep.
He would sit on his favorite chair in the hall, reading the paper and fall asleep instantly and when I came running to sit on his lap, he would pick me up and tell me stories.
On good days, he would encourage us to play/do the crossword to improve our vocab. Pictionary was our favorite as he introduced it to us.
While he streamed news channels, I would always be interested to watch Cartoon Network and he’d willingly give me the remote and he would resume reading the paper.
There’s so many more such incidents of his greatness that cannot be described here. But there are that will be remembered till I’m alive.
Although, he’s not my grandpa genetically, he went out of his way for the people he was close to.
When he was about 80, his feet started swelling and he had developed Edema. Well, it didn’t seem to severe in the early stages but eventually it got worse. It’s the biological mechanism of storing excess water that can’t be drained by the kidneys, in the lower body, typically the feet.
Through medications, edema would go away but return after a while. In the last two months, when he was admitted to a hospital near by, his BP dropped, heart efficiency became even worse and exhaustion set in. The doctor then said that my grandpa doesn’t have much time and dialysis wouldn’t be possible.
A week ago, his whole body swelled up, he was unable to breathe and he was immediately admitted to the ICU, to which he told my uncle, “is it the right time to walk away from here?”, He was influenced under a ventilator and both his kidneys had stopped working, there was no way to get the toxins out. He knew it was time to go. All the family members took turns to come and see him, he was unable to talk and he just nodded.
When I got my turn to see him on the second day of his admission, I told him that I miss him and I was going to see him soon at his house. I also stated that I was going to mysore to write my internals and be back soon, he smiled through his cheeks. His eyes spoke several words of pain and agony.
Later that evening, when I got back home, I prayed endlessly to God to end his suffering. At 11:30pm on Saturday, my mum woke me up saying that my grandpa is critical and ran to the hospital. It was not long before me and my dad left to the hospital too. 12:43am was his breath. While I went to see him the last time, he passed away with a smile on his face.
The title is spin it up, because he moved his index finger in circles and pointed up to say he’s going to the gods.
He saw the good in people, no matter what the situation and always remained positive.
You will always be loved even if it’s a memory, henceforth. Thank you for guiding me and helping me see good through people.